My First Sex Toy

Beginner’s Guide to Choosing Your First Sex Toy

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Introduction

The very first sex toy I ever bought was from a little hole in the wall shop on the other side of the city, where I didn’t know anybody. I walked in super nervous, not knowing what to look for other than I wanted to buy something to take with me on a trip to the mountains with my girlfriend. The shopkeeper was very kind and approached saying I looked a little lost, and could use a hand. She asked what I was after and I had no idea. She showed me a few different toys, explained how they worked, and I ended up walking out with a small vibrator. She was a guiding light in a sea of unknown.

Feel familiar?

16 years later, I have the opportunity to be your lighthouse. Lets go over some stuff, unmuddy the waters, and leave you feeling more confident then when you arrived.

Grab a hot drink, and let's begin.

Why Try a Sex Toy?

Sex toys are for more than just fun. They are tools for self-discovery, building confidence, and promoting overall wellness. The act of sex has many benefits including relieving stress and building closeness with a partner. It also feels pretty great! With toys, we can further explore what feels great for ourselves or a partner. Sex toys are for everyone irrespective of gender, orientation, or experience level and they’re a safe way to explore without judgment. Whether you’re single or partnered, a toy can add joy to your routine.

What do I need to consider?

Here’s 5 things to think about when looking at a toy:

Size: Start small to avoid discomfort. Bullet vibrators (2–3 inches) or smaller dildos (4–5 inches) are a perfect starting point. You can play, explore, and learn what you like.
Material: Look for body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Avoid porous “jelly” toys, which can trap bacteria and cause irritation. Silicone is my go to, and I have long since binned all of my jelly toys.
Ease of Use: If you choose a motorized toy, start with simple one or two button controls. If it’s within your budget, a rechargeable toy will make cleaning and charging a snap!
Budget: Choose a toy within your budget, balancing affordability with safety. You don’t need to splurge to start, but it’s important to choose body safe materials.
Function: Consider what type of toy you want and make sure you find one that does the job! Vibration, rotation, texture, size, and where on your body you want to use it.
Safety: Buy from a reputable seller or brand. Oftentimes buying direct from a brand can ensure you receive warranty service if needed. Try to avoid Ebay, Amazon, or Temu type sellers as quality is not always guaranteed. (See our partnered brands here)

What toys are out there?

There are tens of thousands of toys out there but for the most part they will fall into one of a few broad categories. This is a very surface level look at the different types of toys. If this piques your curiosity, check out some of our reviews. My favorite toys are smart and connected toys; Teledildonics. There's also kink which will be an entirely different post. For now, take a look, and lets get your feet wet.

Dildos

The oldest and original type of sex toy, at its most basic, it's a simulated penis. They come in all shapes and sizes, can be used vaginally or anally, and work great for creating the feeling of penetration. There’s realistic ones, alien ones, even artistic glass ones. Lots of options here.

Vibrators

These come in even more shapes, sizes, and types. There’s little tiny bullet style ones you can wear as a necklace, and there are wand style vibrators that border on heavy construction equipment, with everything in between. There’s rabbit style ones which combine the shaft of the dildos, with a little attachment that looks like bunny ears to provide clitoral or external stimulation. Wands are more powerful and can be plugged into the wall or have extended battery life.

Anal toys

These are toys that go in or on your bum. They are designed for internal or external stimulation, and for anything internal will ALWAYS have a flared base. You don’t want to wind up talking with a triage nurse explaining how you lost a toy inside you. There are vibrating toys, thrusting, rotating, and even little tongue toys for rimming.

Cock Rings

My favorite toys right here. At their most basic, they restrict blood flow in the penis to help give the wearer a longer lasting and harder erection. Safety considerations include taking breaks every 20-30 minutes, and ensuring a proper Goldilocks fit. Not too loose it falls off, not too tight you turn purple, just a nice snug fit. Some will come with vibrators or attachments for the scrotum, or even connect to a butt plug.

Sleeves

A sleeve is a soft replica of either a vagina, mouth, or anus. They have an opening so you can place it over the penis and they come in all different shapes and sizes. They can be on their own or come with hard cases to make it easier to hold on to. Price is usually a good determination of quality, my preference being towards reusable silicone based sleeves. For ease of cleaning I would recommend one that’s open ended so you can run water through it and promote easier drying.

We have only scratched the surface of what’s out there, but we have what we need for now. There’s a great big ocean of toys out there, but let’s stick with navigating the harbour first.

Where do I go now?

From here, you take this new information and you find something you like. Find a reputable seller or brand to look at. Our trusted affiliate partners are here: Trusted Partners Browse the selection you’re after. You put it in your cart. You come back and reread this article. Go back to your cart. Enter your information, and take the leap! Congratulations, you’ve just bought your very first sex toy.

Here are a few of the toys I’ve tried over the years and frequently recommend for people just starting their journey.

Dildos:

This is a great start, Realistic Dual Density Dildo. Not too big, not too small, just pair with water based lube. Dual Density Use code 235D at checkout will take off 15%

Vibrators:

Funzze Couples Sharing Vibe II: It’s water resistant, rechargeable, easy to use, and inexpensive: Sharing Vibe II Use RMTR10 for 10% off at Checkout.

We-Vibe Tango: One of my first bullet vibe toys over 10 years ago, and it’s still going strong. Tango

Kiiroo Pearl2+: I recently purchased this toy on sale for review. It is more expensive, but it’s easy to use, body safe, waterproof, and packs a bit more power than the other two. Pearl2+

Anal toys

This is a great starter set made from easily washable silicone. Make sure you read and follow directions for cleaning. Anal Starter Set

Basic anal plug. Its small and beginner friendly and it looks kinda cute too

Basic Plug

Cock rings

Three rings of different sizes, so you can choose what works best for you. I’m pretty sure I own at least two of these sets now: Triple Rings

A basic lasso style ring. Just be mindful you don’t cinch it too tight. Lasso

Accessories

This has been our go-to lube for years, it’s available from many retailers. Lube

A very basic and inexpensive toy cleaner that works well Cleaning Spray

My First Time

Today’s the day! Your phone buzzes and you see “Delivered to Front Door” and you rush to pick it up. Up to the bedroom you go, tearing open the package. There’s a toy, manual, warranty information, and maybe a charging cable. Read over the manual and see if you need to charge before use (Usually). Give the toy a quick clean, and let it charge. Do some self care, have a shower or bath, set the mood for yourself or you and your partner. Unplug the toy and enjoy.

Cleaning:

To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience, no matter what toy you order, give it a thorough cleaning. Give it a wash with mild soap and water or a toy cleaner before and after every use. Dry completely to prevent mold. Get into this habit early. There’s nothing sadder than going to use your new favourite toy only to find out it has to be disposed of.

Choose the Right Lube:

Use water-based lube with silicone toys to avoid damage. Avoid silicone-based lube with silicone toys.Water based lubes also wash out of sheets. Oil and silicone, not so much.

Store Properly:

Keep toys in a cool, dry place, ideally in a storage pouch to avoid dust or scratches.

You’ve got this!

Experiment in a private, relaxed setting. Try different angles or settings to find what feels best. Sometimes there will be funny sounds, or it will tickle in an unexpected way, or you drop the little bullet vibe and bump it onto high chasing it with your spouse under the covers because it’s tickling you and you can’t see it because your glasses fell off… True story, and hilarious. Play, have fun, and understand it will take a few tries to find out what works best for you.

Your first sex toy is a step toward fun, empowerment, and self-discovery. Start with a small, and explore at your own pace.

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